Here’s a sad fact: There are bad people who lie awake at night dreaming up ways to separate you from your hard-earned money. Here’s another fact: Everyone thinks they’d never fall for a scam, but almost everyone could be a potential victim.

“Everyone, at certain times of life, can be prone to scams,” writes Certified Fraud Examiner, Donn LeVie, Jr. in the January/February, 2019 edition of Fraud Magazine. In short, “If you don’t think you’re at risk of becoming a fraud victim, then you’re likely at risk of becoming a fraud victim.”

When it comes to getting scammed, it’s not always “stranger danger.” According to Don Rabon, Certified Fraud Examiner, “The person who can financially ‘harm’ the most is the one who is trusted the most. The one who is trusted the most is often the one most liked.” These can be neighbors, friends, members of your church, or even family members.

Why we “love” fraudsters

People who commit fraud are likable. They ooze empathy and familiarity. When we’re around “nice” people, our brain releases oxytocin – the “love hormone.” Oxytocin creates a trusting feeling that makes us more susceptible to believing others and giving to them beyond what our rational mind would allow.

Related to this, strong positive emotion increases blood and oxygen to an almond-sized part of the brain called the amygdala. The amygdala is the part of the brain responsible for identifying threats. It’s what causes your heart to skip a beat when you sense danger. The amygdala is responsible for your “fight or flight” mechanism. And when it get’s “hijacked,” you lose the ability to see the wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Defending against the fraudster’s Five Weapons of Deceit

LeVie suggests we want to trust and cooperate with others. It’s natural. But when our “BS Detector” goes haywire (see above), that trust and cooperation can become our enemy. It’s not that we’re gullible – we’re just human, and humans need to learn what to look for to avoid becoming a victim.

Here are what LeVie calls the fraudster’s “weapons of deceit”:

1. They appeal to your trust. Fraudster’s KNOW you want to trust them, and that makes taking advantage of that trust that much easier. Even someone you just met can appeal to your trust by targeting a common interest or acquaintance, or they may gain your trust through flattery or telling you something you want to hear.
2. They use “visceral, emotive triggers to override” your rational evaluation of frauds. By getting you excited about what they’re offering, you’re more likely to ignore the red flags that would otherwise give you pause. This is why so many people buy low-value jewelry on home shopping television networks, and it’s how the age-old Nigerian Letter (now email) Scam has worked for so long. In one variation of this scam, the writer has just learned that she (usually a female) has developed cancer (or some other terminal disease), and she trusts you to shield her fortune from her country’s tax authorities, for which she will give you a percentage of the fortune as a “handling fee.” (Hint: If you get an email addressed to “Dear One,” “Most Dearest,” or other similar salutation, just DELETE the email!)
3. They use “personalized scarcity cues” to make you believe this offer is just for you. This “induces compliance and commitment.” We all want that thing that no one else has – or can have. By telling you that this opportunity is only for people of your caliber, education, status, lifestyle, or profession, they appeal to your desire for exclusivity.
4. They may ask you to make small commitments in the beginning. Let’s face it, if they came right out and asked us for $50,000, we’d balk because that’s too big a red flag for even a hijacked amygdala to ignore! But if they ask you for $50 here and there, then $250, then eventually $500, it’s not that far a leap to $5,000. People who’ve scammed people out of their life’s savings did so a little at a time.
5. There is a “disproportionate gap between victims’ small investments and alleged big rewards.” This is now the age-old lottery scam has worked for so long: “You’ve won $5,000,000! All you need to do to claim the prize is send us a $500 ‘handling fee.'” Once the fee is paid, the victim usually finds they have to pay more fees and more fees to get to the “next step” of accepting their award.

Your mother’s advice is as true today as it was back then: If it seems to good to be true, it probably is. If you get the sneaking suspicion that someone may be trying to take advantage of you (i.e. defraud you), here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. STOP! Take a deep breath, and simply do nothing. Sleep on it. Give your body time to wash away the delicious oxytocin and allow your rational mind to examine the situation.
2. Ask, “Why me?” Why is this offer being made to you exclusively? On the flip side, the fraud may not be presented as an opportunity, but as an urgent need.
3. If the scam is presented as a need, is there another possible solution. If you present solution after solution after solution, and all are rejected, you may find that they only solution acceptable to the fraudster is for you to part with your money. If they’re not willing to explore other solutions, your antennae should pop up that this may be a scam.
4. Talk to someone else. Getting a disinterested third party’s brain to examine the issue is a great way to check yourself before you wreck yourself. (And you should ESPECIALLY talk to someone if the perpetrator tells you to NOT tell anyone!)

Oh, one more sad fact: The question is not IF someone will try to scam you, but WHEN. When facing a potential fraudster, remember that (1) your brain may be working against your best interests, (2) the fraudster knows this, and (3) taking a few simple precautions can help you avoid losing that which you’ve worked hard to earn and save.